Reading this there are so many similarities with my son's breastfeeding journey as well! Day one in the hospital I was discouraged from breastfeeding because I had "a small baby and big boobs" one of the nurses told me, I started pumping and went home feeding him colostrum from a syringe. So different than I envisioned. I kept pumping and developed mastitis by one month. But we figured it out and amazingly he nursed til almost 3😆 I think we worked so hard in the beginning it was something so special between us and hard to let it go. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Thank you so much for reading! Wow that’s so amazing — thank you for sharing your story. I’m so glad that you were able to push through. It really is more than just nourishment, it’s a beautiful bond!
Oh my goodness, this brought back my breastfeeding journey with my first! I had a 36-weeker and was told to start supplementing right away because she wasn't gaining her birth weight back fast enough. I gave up pumping at 4 weeks because my husband went back to work and I had zero support. Unfortunately that ended our breastfeeding journey but it made me determined to self-advocate with my second, and we are still breastfeeding at 18 months! The lack of support we give moms postpartum is what fuels my passion to help other moms.
Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it! I’m so happy that you have been able to have a really beautiful breastfeeding journey with your second. It does for me too! I think it’s so important for our stories and experiences to be shared and heard.
Beautiful writing! Sharing your story will help so many mamas. I love how you said you fed him though sickness, teething, etc and how it was your way of showing him you were there for him ♥️ I feel the same but haven’t been able to put that in words.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! I hope it will resonate with moms who have gone through or are currently going through struggles. It’s a good feeling, being their source of comfort!
My baby girl was SGA and 3 weeks early and I totally understand how tough breastfeeding is!! I did the same thing where I would feed her on the breast with a nipple shield, pump, feed her pumped milk in a bottle..for the first two months too for every single feed night and day…it was so intense to get her to gain weight.
I dropped the nipple shield on her due date but didn’t stop pumping and bottles til 2 months in. Oh my goodness the joy of just being able to breastfeed, no pumping, no bottles is so great! She’s 8 months now and breastfeeds and latches like a champ!
First, thank you for reading and commenting, it means a lot! Second, I am in awe of you. Triple feeding takes up so much time and energy. I know the constant anxiety around getting baby to gain weight all too well. I'm so happy that you were able to drop the nipple shield and eventually pumping bottles. It really is such a good feeling when they finally latch well. I wish the continuation of your journey nothing but the best!
This is so beautifully written—raw, honest, and deeply needed. Thank you for giving voice to the parts of early motherhood and breastfeeding that are so often hidden: the grief of unmet expectations, the exhaustion of navigating systems without a map, and the power of persistence when everything feels stacked against you.
Your line “I was robbed of that” really hit me. So many of us carry a quiet grief for the version of postpartum we hoped for—and the lack of support that made it feel so much harder than it had to be.
I’d love to hear from others: What part of your feeding journey surprised you the most—whether emotionally, physically, or culturally? And what do you wish someone had told you before you began?
Let’s keep sharing—these stories matter more than we realize.
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment, it really means a lot! I think so many moms go through these challenges in the dark and feel like they are they only ones who feel alone. There is so little education and support when it comes to breastfeeding and postpartum in general, stories of persistence need to be shared and heard!
I just wrote probably too long of an article about my experience lol. Came here to say I agree our stories are so important. There is so much wisdom, lessons learned from them and the ability to feel seen as well as other mothers to feel seen as well. I have quite a complicated relationship with the pump as well from my first time experience as a mother. One that I didn't realize still affected me until I had another baby and never wanted to see a pump again in my life lol. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! Yes, I agree that there is so much to learn from other women's experiences, especially at a time when a lot of moms are lacking the support and education surrounding breastfeeding. I just saved your post to read later!
Thank you so much for sharing this vulnerable piece. I am finding myself craving the medicine of other mamas' stories during my postpartum period and randomly reading essays and listening to podcast posts about the bf journey... it's cathartic to read your experience. First of all I admire how committed you were to your process and can only imagine how challenging triple feeding was. My son is 10 weeks old and has a tongue tie, so we dealt with lots of issues in the early weeks. I would lug him to craniosacral therapy appts and lactation consultations in the freezing dead of winter by myself, post op from my C section. So many tears, both from him with my fast letdown and oversupply and from myself feeling like my baby hated me and I couldn't even soothe him with the boob. Looking back, I wish I could give myself a hug and tell that new mama that it would all pay off and her dedication to feeding her son is absolutely beautiful. We are finally out of the woods and in an amazing rhythm and I'm proud of my son's development and how hard I've worked to feed him from my body. Mothers are incredible. You're incredible!
Thank you for taking the time to read as well as share your story! It truly is healing taking in other’s experiences — it helps learn and makes us us feel seen. Your story is beautiful and I’m so glad you found your rhythm! I went through a similar experience with my newborn after an unplanned c-section. Mothers are so incredible!
This post made me cry! I am currently in the first part of your post. Our baby was born at 34 weeks due to preeclampsia and spent a month in the NICU, so I started pumping in the hospital. The schedule has been demanding, and it shattered my hopes for breastfeeding as baby was too small to latch well and couldn’t regulate her suck/swallow/breathe reflexes. I kept up the pumping even after going back to work at 3.5 weeks postpartum and after baby came home. I was ready to give up! After some encouragement from an aunt and a sister in law, I reached out to an LC. We’ve been seeing her for a few weeks now but are still at the very beginning of our journey. It is often discouraging, but I think we’re making progress. Thank you for this post!
Thank you so much for reading as well as sharing your experience! I’m so happy that you have support and that you’re working with a lactation consultant. I wish you the best on your journey and hope to hear the continuation of your story!
Beautiful story! I had a similar experience with my son, but it’s so cool how you powered through and were able to breastfeed him for so long. That is amazing! Also pumping is the worst haha 😆
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment! I really enjoyed reading about your experience as well. Also, yes — I hated pumping. I have so much grace and respect for moms who exclusively pump!
Beautiful writing. Thanks for sharing this intimate window into your experience ❤️ I know many mothers and women will either see themselves in it or become inspired in some way. ✨❤️✨
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment! I hope other moms can resonate and that it can open up a conversation so we can all learn from each other’s experiences!
Feeling so seen, thank you for sharing your experience.
My baby girl is 7 weeks and we’re currently triple feeding. It’s the most stressful part of my breastfeeding journey and it’s only possible because my husband supports me and feeds her while I pump. I can’t wait for baby girl to get more efficient at BF and wean off triple feeding schedule.
I would love to hear how you got to exclusively BF. I know there’s light at the end of the tunnel and that’s what keeping me motivated at the moment.
The first 1/2 of your story was exactly my experience as well. After 3 weeks of nursing with what I didn't realize was a poor latch ultimately resulted in terrible nipple trauma. And i too embarked on the triple feeding journey. I felt like all of my time was spent agonizing over pumping schedules, counting ounces, washing/sterilizing parts. I felt disconnected from baby, whom was mostly being bottle-fed by dad. I felt resentful towards my husband whom it seemed was getting the best parts of early parenthood. I didn't mind nursing multiple times at night in those early days. Sure it was tiring, but the quiet connection I felt with baby was the closest to contentment I had ever felt. And suddenly I never felt so completely alone, sitting in the dark at night, connected to a machine.
Unfortunately though, we never made it "back to breast," and I am exclusively pumping still at 6 months PP. I still struggle to accept it. Feeling like we both missed out. Feeling like a failure. Feeling guilty that I made this more work for my husband as well. Feeling even more guilty that I barely even remember some of those early week, let alone enjoyed them, because I was living in a haze of sleep deprivation, anxiety, and ultimately PPD.
Six months was my goal for pumping. I told myself after that I would relax a little bit. I told myself that I'd feed him whatever breastmilk I could still make on a manageable (ideally 4/day) pumping schedule, and that I'd be OK with giving him formula to make up the difference.
But now it's staring me in the face.
I've dabbled in cutting back, but as soon as I notice any dip in my supply I am thrust back into the feeling of helplessness and obsession of those dark days, fearful of being unable to feed my baby.
Hi Meg, thank you for taking the time to read and comment! And thank you for sharing your story, it brought me to tears. I'm so sorry that this has been your experience. I know all too well the fear and obsession with supply and counting ounces. I hope you know that you are far from a failure! Triple feeding and then exclusively pumping for 6 months takes an incredible amount of time and energy, I am in awe of you! No matter what you decide to do, I hope you know that you are an incredible mom and I hope you do it for both you and your baby. Your story is beautiful.
Reading this there are so many similarities with my son's breastfeeding journey as well! Day one in the hospital I was discouraged from breastfeeding because I had "a small baby and big boobs" one of the nurses told me, I started pumping and went home feeding him colostrum from a syringe. So different than I envisioned. I kept pumping and developed mastitis by one month. But we figured it out and amazingly he nursed til almost 3😆 I think we worked so hard in the beginning it was something so special between us and hard to let it go. Thank you for sharing ❤️
Thank you so much for reading! Wow that’s so amazing — thank you for sharing your story. I’m so glad that you were able to push through. It really is more than just nourishment, it’s a beautiful bond!
Yes!
Oh my goodness, this brought back my breastfeeding journey with my first! I had a 36-weeker and was told to start supplementing right away because she wasn't gaining her birth weight back fast enough. I gave up pumping at 4 weeks because my husband went back to work and I had zero support. Unfortunately that ended our breastfeeding journey but it made me determined to self-advocate with my second, and we are still breastfeeding at 18 months! The lack of support we give moms postpartum is what fuels my passion to help other moms.
Thank you so much for reading, I really appreciate it! I’m so happy that you have been able to have a really beautiful breastfeeding journey with your second. It does for me too! I think it’s so important for our stories and experiences to be shared and heard.
Beautiful writing! Sharing your story will help so many mamas. I love how you said you fed him though sickness, teething, etc and how it was your way of showing him you were there for him ♥️ I feel the same but haven’t been able to put that in words.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! I hope it will resonate with moms who have gone through or are currently going through struggles. It’s a good feeling, being their source of comfort!
My baby girl was SGA and 3 weeks early and I totally understand how tough breastfeeding is!! I did the same thing where I would feed her on the breast with a nipple shield, pump, feed her pumped milk in a bottle..for the first two months too for every single feed night and day…it was so intense to get her to gain weight.
I dropped the nipple shield on her due date but didn’t stop pumping and bottles til 2 months in. Oh my goodness the joy of just being able to breastfeed, no pumping, no bottles is so great! She’s 8 months now and breastfeeds and latches like a champ!
First, thank you for reading and commenting, it means a lot! Second, I am in awe of you. Triple feeding takes up so much time and energy. I know the constant anxiety around getting baby to gain weight all too well. I'm so happy that you were able to drop the nipple shield and eventually pumping bottles. It really is such a good feeling when they finally latch well. I wish the continuation of your journey nothing but the best!
This is so beautifully written—raw, honest, and deeply needed. Thank you for giving voice to the parts of early motherhood and breastfeeding that are so often hidden: the grief of unmet expectations, the exhaustion of navigating systems without a map, and the power of persistence when everything feels stacked against you.
Your line “I was robbed of that” really hit me. So many of us carry a quiet grief for the version of postpartum we hoped for—and the lack of support that made it feel so much harder than it had to be.
I’d love to hear from others: What part of your feeding journey surprised you the most—whether emotionally, physically, or culturally? And what do you wish someone had told you before you began?
Let’s keep sharing—these stories matter more than we realize.
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment, it really means a lot! I think so many moms go through these challenges in the dark and feel like they are they only ones who feel alone. There is so little education and support when it comes to breastfeeding and postpartum in general, stories of persistence need to be shared and heard!
I just wrote probably too long of an article about my experience lol. Came here to say I agree our stories are so important. There is so much wisdom, lessons learned from them and the ability to feel seen as well as other mothers to feel seen as well. I have quite a complicated relationship with the pump as well from my first time experience as a mother. One that I didn't realize still affected me until I had another baby and never wanted to see a pump again in my life lol. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! Yes, I agree that there is so much to learn from other women's experiences, especially at a time when a lot of moms are lacking the support and education surrounding breastfeeding. I just saved your post to read later!
Thank you so much for sharing this vulnerable piece. I am finding myself craving the medicine of other mamas' stories during my postpartum period and randomly reading essays and listening to podcast posts about the bf journey... it's cathartic to read your experience. First of all I admire how committed you were to your process and can only imagine how challenging triple feeding was. My son is 10 weeks old and has a tongue tie, so we dealt with lots of issues in the early weeks. I would lug him to craniosacral therapy appts and lactation consultations in the freezing dead of winter by myself, post op from my C section. So many tears, both from him with my fast letdown and oversupply and from myself feeling like my baby hated me and I couldn't even soothe him with the boob. Looking back, I wish I could give myself a hug and tell that new mama that it would all pay off and her dedication to feeding her son is absolutely beautiful. We are finally out of the woods and in an amazing rhythm and I'm proud of my son's development and how hard I've worked to feed him from my body. Mothers are incredible. You're incredible!
Thank you for taking the time to read as well as share your story! It truly is healing taking in other’s experiences — it helps learn and makes us us feel seen. Your story is beautiful and I’m so glad you found your rhythm! I went through a similar experience with my newborn after an unplanned c-section. Mothers are so incredible!
This post made me cry! I am currently in the first part of your post. Our baby was born at 34 weeks due to preeclampsia and spent a month in the NICU, so I started pumping in the hospital. The schedule has been demanding, and it shattered my hopes for breastfeeding as baby was too small to latch well and couldn’t regulate her suck/swallow/breathe reflexes. I kept up the pumping even after going back to work at 3.5 weeks postpartum and after baby came home. I was ready to give up! After some encouragement from an aunt and a sister in law, I reached out to an LC. We’ve been seeing her for a few weeks now but are still at the very beginning of our journey. It is often discouraging, but I think we’re making progress. Thank you for this post!
Thank you so much for reading as well as sharing your experience! I’m so happy that you have support and that you’re working with a lactation consultant. I wish you the best on your journey and hope to hear the continuation of your story!
Beautiful story! I had a similar experience with my son, but it’s so cool how you powered through and were able to breastfeed him for so long. That is amazing! Also pumping is the worst haha 😆
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment! I really enjoyed reading about your experience as well. Also, yes — I hated pumping. I have so much grace and respect for moms who exclusively pump!
Beautiful writing. Thanks for sharing this intimate window into your experience ❤️ I know many mothers and women will either see themselves in it or become inspired in some way. ✨❤️✨
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment! I hope other moms can resonate and that it can open up a conversation so we can all learn from each other’s experiences!
Feeling so seen, thank you for sharing your experience.
My baby girl is 7 weeks and we’re currently triple feeding. It’s the most stressful part of my breastfeeding journey and it’s only possible because my husband supports me and feeds her while I pump. I can’t wait for baby girl to get more efficient at BF and wean off triple feeding schedule.
I would love to hear how you got to exclusively BF. I know there’s light at the end of the tunnel and that’s what keeping me motivated at the moment.
The first 1/2 of your story was exactly my experience as well. After 3 weeks of nursing with what I didn't realize was a poor latch ultimately resulted in terrible nipple trauma. And i too embarked on the triple feeding journey. I felt like all of my time was spent agonizing over pumping schedules, counting ounces, washing/sterilizing parts. I felt disconnected from baby, whom was mostly being bottle-fed by dad. I felt resentful towards my husband whom it seemed was getting the best parts of early parenthood. I didn't mind nursing multiple times at night in those early days. Sure it was tiring, but the quiet connection I felt with baby was the closest to contentment I had ever felt. And suddenly I never felt so completely alone, sitting in the dark at night, connected to a machine.
Unfortunately though, we never made it "back to breast," and I am exclusively pumping still at 6 months PP. I still struggle to accept it. Feeling like we both missed out. Feeling like a failure. Feeling guilty that I made this more work for my husband as well. Feeling even more guilty that I barely even remember some of those early week, let alone enjoyed them, because I was living in a haze of sleep deprivation, anxiety, and ultimately PPD.
Six months was my goal for pumping. I told myself after that I would relax a little bit. I told myself that I'd feed him whatever breastmilk I could still make on a manageable (ideally 4/day) pumping schedule, and that I'd be OK with giving him formula to make up the difference.
But now it's staring me in the face.
I've dabbled in cutting back, but as soon as I notice any dip in my supply I am thrust back into the feeling of helplessness and obsession of those dark days, fearful of being unable to feed my baby.
Hi Meg, thank you for taking the time to read and comment! And thank you for sharing your story, it brought me to tears. I'm so sorry that this has been your experience. I know all too well the fear and obsession with supply and counting ounces. I hope you know that you are far from a failure! Triple feeding and then exclusively pumping for 6 months takes an incredible amount of time and energy, I am in awe of you! No matter what you decide to do, I hope you know that you are an incredible mom and I hope you do it for both you and your baby. Your story is beautiful.